Emotions can be uncomfortable. There are many more of them that are uncomfortable than comfortable. For every emotion that we love to feel, such as joy there are around five emotions that we don’t usually like such as shame, fear, anxious, jealous and anger.
Often people like to tell me that feelings that make them uncomfortable are negative. The ones that make us feel good are positive. There are no good or bad feelings, we feel for a reason. If you are frustrated there is usually a reason why. If we can sort this out, then the frustration will pass. The same goes for feeling guilt. Imagine if no-one ever felt guilty. We would probably all do some horrible things if there were no feelings in place to stop us.
Other ways of getting over feelings that make us feel uncomfortable is to bottle them up and try not to feel them. Have you ever done this? Maybe you try to distract yourself with something else or bury your head in schoolwork or a TV series. This means that we can keep bottling things up inside until we get overwhelmed or explode.
When you start to feel something name it. What emotion are you feeling? Here is a list of emotion words to help you…
Joy, Sad, Guilt, Regret, Shame, Humiliation, Fear, Frustration, Excitement, Belonging, Blame, Jealous, Anger, Anxious, Vulnerability, Love, Curious, Disgust, Embarrassment, Empathy, Gratitude, Grief, Hurt, Judgement, Lonely, Overwhelmed, Surprised, Worried.
Once you have named what you are feeling, get curious about it. Even the feelings that feel good. Why are you feeling it? Where in the body do you feel it? What has caused the feeling? What is this feeling telling me right now?
Remember to do the above with your comfortable feelings too!
The above is not easy to do, especially if you have become good at practicing ‘not’ feeling things. It can feel dark and scary. It can feel like you may get stuck feeling it forever. Emotions pass. They come and go. How many different things can you feel in one day? Try writing them down some time. So far today I have felt…. Happy, tired, bored, excited, nervous, confused, loved, worried, anxious, frustrated, angry, sad…. And that’s just in a few hours.
Now you know all the things you have felt in one day, LET IT GO!
Remember as always, these exercises are a practice. What we practice grows stronger as we grow and change as people. Becoming more emotionally aware is a constant practice throughout life. Give it all a try and keep going. xxx