Part of mindfulness is the practice of acceptance and non-judgement. Quite often we think it is sitting cross legged on a scenic mountain meditating for hours on end!
Mindfulness is about being aware of yourself, others and the environment around you but crucially, without judgement of it. When we judge we are bringing meaning and ideas from the past and future and assuming or predicting how we, others or a situation should behave or turn out.
So, for example; have you ever started to feel emotional and labelled the emotion, told yourself you were wrong for feeling it before really actually feeling it and taking time to figure out exactly what it was and what it was trying to tell you? Remember as we have discussed in emotions topics before, they are all there for a reason.
Have you ever told yourself a situation was going to be completely awful and that you wouldn’t be able to handle the situation without having ever been in that situation before and knowing what will actually happen?
In both of the above we are being judgemental of ourselves or situations rather than practicing the art of non-judgement.
Try this: When an emotion arises, get comfortable and be aware of what it is. Where is it in the body, what is it trying to tell you? Accept that the feeling is there. Do you want more or less of this feeling? Decide whether to give anymore of your awareness to this feeling or to just let it pass. Remember emotions come and go.
Acceptance is also a tough skill to master. Often people think that acceptance means you become some sort of doormat for people to wipe their feet on and leave you feeling rubbish. This is not acceptance.
For example, just because you accept someone did something mean to you it doesn’t mean that it was acceptable behaviour and they shouldn’t be told that.
It means you accept that it is their behaviour and you are not in control of their behaviour, only your own. It was their choice to be mean and that has no reflection on you or your worth.
Try this: When you hit a tough situation. The behaviour of someone else or an event out of your control. Take a moment to accept that it has happened. Wishing it hadn’t or wondering why someone is not doing what you want them to do is not going to change what has happened. Once you accept what has happened, you take your power back and can decide what you want to do next. Remember you are in control of you.
Mindfulness can be added to daily life via taking time to think, reflect and question our initial thoughts and judgements. If you want more time to practice this join our 5 day wellbeing challenge here which is free and taking place on Facebook. After this there is a special online 28 day course where you can transform your wellbeing and use the power of positive psychology throughout your daily life. Head to the group coaching page for more information. If you join our 5 day wellbeing challenge you will get a super special lockdown price.
Stay safe and keep well xx